To all my homies...mis socias...mis bebidas de vida...mi chicXs por vida

If you´ve read yesterday´s post, you , I was kind of frustrated over my feelings of loneliness and lack of motivation. Today I woke up happy for a couple of reasons.  Last night, I dragged myself to this awesome bar, La Nueva Babel.  It serves good mezcal and hosts local bands like this one that i saw last night.  

And I stayed there until almost 3 a.m. drawing because that´s what I do now. I sometimes feel uncomfortable bringing my camera to certain places, at certain times, and also sometimes I don´t feel like taking pictures.

 But I want to remember the places that I go and the people that I see and meet. So yeah..what I do to fulfill that need is to draw? I´m not good at it but it calms me down when I´m nervous and helps me notice all sorts of details.  Unintentionally, it´s a conversation starter that takes away attention from my race and focuses it on what I´m doing.  There are very few times that I want to chat with people for more than a couple of minutes but its nice that someone is talking politely to me instead of talking about me or staring.

When I find a scanner, I´ll start posting my drawings.

Also....

One of mis socias sent me this awesome song/video on this day of friendship...En espaNol, El dia de amistad

and I wanted to share it with the lectores dedicados that I have.

Zombie Like State in Oaxaca

I´m in Oaxaca City and I don´t have a plan. I´m in the zocalo and would rather spend my time on the internet. Is that okay?

I´m also hungry and dirty. 

Yeah I forgot to tell you that i haven´t showered in 6 days. My departamiento en D.F. lacks hot water and I lack the will to correct that.  So yeah I should do something about that. 

But in the mean time, I will post some pics in the next couple of days with my camera´s point of view of Oaxaca City. So far, I like this place. Its really different from D.F. More chill. Less metropolitan but really pretty. And the food is delicious and the mezcal is the bomb.

However, I still don´t blend in. But when do I ever.

Is there a song about lonely travels?

Viajando como asi es un poquito solo cuando tu quedas en uno lugar.  Yeah, I did scoff at the idea of going place to place when i decided to go down south and I stand by my choice. 

Backpacking right now is not for me, folks. I prefer living in a place not just hit and run (right now i´m gulping down my michelado at Lynis, this restaurant on La Paseo de la Reforma and it feels good to feel familiar with this area...to take my time here). 

But such travel seems positive in alot of ways.  Always moving, never having time to think or miss anything in a consistant manner.  Yeah, i´m over simplifying this but now that i´m back in D.F., that´s all i have time for...think...think...miss...miss..

For the most part I´m fine but its those times late at night when I wish I was so exhuasted that laying in bed is enough to pass me out or other times when I just want to talk to someone until we both drift off in mid sentence.  Those are the times I feel so lost.  And another problem is that I could recieve all of the companionship that i want but i want certain companionship and i´m too tired right now to recieve so many new connections. 

I spend alot of time crying at my neighbor´s house.  She always commands `'¿Porque estas llorando mi linda?'' meanwhile she´s crying as well.  And I tell her i cry because I am sad to leave and that´s definitely part of it (actually, when i´m with her, it´s definitely the greatest bulk of the tears) but I´m also relived that I´m going back to someplace familiar even for a little while because staying here alone is hard after having such an awesome physically present support network.  And even though i´m leaving for Peru, two weeks after staying in d.c. at least I will be with someone I am familiar with, someone who understands me, and someone who i long to be with.

With all that said, I do have a half-ass cure and i suggest you do it (drum roll...please).....

Go see a U.S. movie at the movie theater in the country that you are visiting (especially if its cheaper than in the united states).  I usually spend 3 to 5 dollars on a movie and its worth it.  They are usually new and it gets me out of the funk I´m in and its subtitled so I learn new words in spanish.   

Tonight I´m watching El Libro De Los Secretos con Denzel Washington (aka the book of eli). And yeah on the regular, i would never pay to watch this movie in the states but for 2 hours, i don´t have to think...and for someone who doesn´t have a t.v.  This is gold because i´m thinking all of the time.

Mercado de La Merced: A Slammer Wonderland

I want to write about La Merced  (this awesome market that takes up blocks and blocks of downtown? that is  off  of the pink line at the Merced stop) at a later date but so far its one of my favorite places in D.F. Also,  the pic above is of me donning those beautiful plastic sunflowers that I bought at the merced. Because amazing enough they have a whole section (that takes up a block) of shops that carry brightly coloured plastic flowers. The stuff your mother or grandmother used to decorate the house with.  Both Cheesy, beautiful, full of nostalgia, environmentally unfriendly, and always para siempre.

What's Up With Your Blog Name?...The Begining of the Answer

Tired of Thinking...What do I do?...Sculpt!

Traveling like this can be difficult for me because I never have the state of mind to break free mentally.  I feel like I'm constantly consuming: language, food, day to day traditions, historic sites, etc.  Everything is new and I spend so much time taking culture in that at the end of the day my mind wants to explode or at least shut down.  Maybe it's just unique to me but in these 3 months of traveling I have rarely felt relaxed or completely comfortable.  

Part of that insecurity includes my lack of language proficiency.  It impairs my ability to fully express myself, not just what I'm thinking but my personality and the ways that people say things to me that express their personality [intonation, stressing, inflections] are lost on me too.  Another part of that insecurity includes the reasons why I decided to start this blog.  I can't go anywhere without someone looking at me like I'm a zoo animal let loose or science experiment gone wrong.  It can be disconcerting, hurtful, annoying, maddening, and stressful.   I try to ignore it but sometimes I just want to scream "nunca han visto una persona negra? Cierra tus ojos, pendejos.  Son mal educado!!!!"--if that even makes sense.  

So one of my most important tips for all you coloured people traveling or living abroad from the States.  Find some time for yourself to take a mental break from the consumption, the stares, the comments, and questions.  And for me, the best way to do that is making things or taking classes on making things or using my body in some way that involves having to shut out afuera (the outside).  I haven't mastered taking advantage of this tip or even taken it to heart but i hope the next 3 months force me to do most of this....or damn, i'm not going to mentally survive.

1. In Lima, took weekly private salsa lessons.
2. I took a hip hop class on la calle Insurgentes.., (i still have a couple of weeks left, i can try to take a couple of more classes...egg me on).
3. Making a bowl in my 4 part (3 hour) sculpture class near La Plaza "Luis Cabrera".
4. Went on a 6 hour spa date a block from my house (I may have to do that before I leave...it costs 50 dollars)
5. Drawing what I see at least 3 or 4 times a week while living in Mexico City.  "Thanks Chuya for inspiring me" 

My Daily Mexican Diet...P.S. Its a holiday!!!

 

Today is a national holiday in Mexico, Día de la Constitution or Constitution Day.  To many its a day to commemorate the constitution of 1917 that followed the Mexican Revolution. To others its part of the line of holidays that allow you to stay away from the frenzy of the city. To me its the day before the day I may have to buy a bunch of tamales because my friends (who are not here in D.F. anymore), both found baby jesuses in their piece of king cake (aka rosca de reyes) at a friend of a friend's house who was hosting a 3 Kings Day get together at his house.  

Bueno, I didn't know it was a holiday until I left my house at 1:30 p.m. and saw that alot of things were closed.  The juice and taco vendors on my corner were not there.  The cigarillo vendor on my route to la calle Orizaba was not there plus 50 percent of the other stores and vendors were shut down except for good old porn alley--which never misses a day.  I mean the best time to buy porn is on holidays. Don't you think? 

And remember for those who live in big cities in the states, holidays in mexico are no joke.  El Distrito Federal becomes a ghost town.  Not like in the states, where the only time you notice its a holiday for everybody including businesses is christmas and thanksgiving.

 P.S. Also on the diet are LaLa yogurts! Am I ridiculous in thinking that there are alot more brands of yogurt in Mexico than the States...and they are more delicious